Sometimes living life feels like trying to compete in the World Series and Super Bowl at the exact same time.
They are different games. They function with wildly different rules. Keeping score for one looks absolutely nothing like keeping score for the other.
You can hit a grand slam in the 9th inning of game 7, and those on the football field–losing at half-time– couldn’t care less.
“We won!” you say.
“We are losing,” they respond.
“Did you see how great that was?” you ask, enthusiastically.
“We were busy,” they say, “waiting for you. You haven’t helped us at all.”
Turns out you can win AND lose at exactly the same time; and the winners and the losers each have feelings that are real and true. Feelings which can weigh down the reality of relationships.
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Over in the World Series of my life, we had a great week–my precious little peanut and I.
She loves to “work” with me at Texas Roadhouse, and my boss is very supportive. He encourages me to bring her with me to community events. On Sunday, we handed out candy to adorably costumed kids for hours at the Caldwell Zoo.
On Monday, we participated in the Texas Roadhouse Trunk or Treat.
I chose a Wizard of Oz theme, and made a thing out of it.
We read the book. We painted the yellow brick road.
We paper mache-ed boxes and painted them green with glitter.
There was a house with lollipops to be pulled out–courtesy of the lollipop guild.
Ryan was an adorable Dorothy and a delightful helper.
Our display was much better at night…
Kind of like my life, the scrutiny of broad daylight displays many of the imperfections.
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Meanwhile, over at the Super Bowl, failure abounds.
I think I signed up to be the quarterback. I can’t really remember.
But now, I am realizing my quarterback days are over. I should really be a cheerleader.
My desire and inclination to choose the play and throw the ball isn’t actually beneficial or appropriate.
I’m old. That particular season is over.
But sometimes I miss it desperately.
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And so I sit back down on the couch–the one that has welcomed me dozens and dozens of times, seeking clarity and wisdom.
Perspective is illuminated. Guidance equals hope. Change comes slowly.
My life seems to shift in degrees.
At 211 degrees water is very hot. At 212, it boils. One degree makes all the difference.
And so I keep trying and working to shift the degrees in a positive direction.
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There are areas of my world that are clearly better. Things have eased. Progress is slow, but sure.
And other areas of my life that bring me to my knees.
I have been centered on Psalm 37:3: “Trust in the Lord and do good. Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.”
In those areas of life that are going well, this verse has settled me and helped with decision making.
In those other areas, where struggle is still at the forefront, I am clinging to Joel 2:25: “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten…”
I am praying this for so many people I love, myself included.
And in the praying, believing starts to appear…one degree at a time.