Dear Portland Moms (And, well, Moms everywhere)

Robin Uncategorized July 23, 2020parenting, Portland Moms, protests

My kids will undoubtedly need copious amounts of therapy for being my children.

I am hot-tempered, hard-headed, and horrendously lazy.

My intentions are among the best, most complete, and well thought out in the world. My actions…are not yet up to the mark.

Yet, as crazy as I may be, I think that many mothers out there have lost their ever-loving minds.

I started to consider whether or not I was from a different planet after the last Super Bowl halftime show.

Credit to the Chicago Sun-Times from Google Images

Facebook started blowing up with moms–many Christian moms– who thought it was an awesome performance. Somehow, scantily dressed men pawing and looking up the crotch of an extremely provocatively dressed woman was admirable.

The defense seemed to be that it was a wonderful thing because J Lo was “hot”. So, if I understand correctly if she was not, say, attractive, and was just an average mom of three kids without millions of dollars to spend on her looks, the performance would not have been so great?

Apparently, it was not a problem that she was being portrayed as a piece of meat and doing things that fuel both the pornography and prostitution industry on what some believe is the biggest sex trafficking day of the year? Huh.

There were still moms–Christian moms–raving.

“Is this what you want for your daughters?” I asked over and over and over again.

I got no answers.

I think my daughter is prettier than J Lo. This is not what I want for her.

WHAT DO WE WANT FOR OUR KIDS? WHO DO WE WANT OUR KIDS TO BE?

This week Portland, Oregon moms locked arms and took to the streets. My understanding is that they were “protecting” protestors from federal police forces sent to protect federal property.

Wearing coordinating t-shirts and bike helmets, People magazine declared they were there to protect the demonstrators.

But where were the moms when this took place?

Seriously. What kind of character do we want our kids to have?

I believe in standing up and speaking out.

But I believe it must be effective. And I believe it needs to be for the right things.

Last night someone posted a video taken in the beautiful college town near where I used to live in California. “Protestors” were walking through public places and shouting in unison, “F*&#$^$%k YOUR COMFORT!” over and over and over again.

What on earth does that have to do with anything?

In an attempt to encourage elevated conversations and clarity, and to try to find like-minded people, I am going to put in writing what I believe and want other people to believe with me:

Profanity is not the mark of intelligence. I go through seasons of cussing–and they are all seasons peppered with stress and unhappiness. F-Bombed filled rants rarely get compassion from other people. If you want people on your side, use your nice words.
It is wrong to destroy other people’s property. I can’t believe this needs to be elaborated on, but it does. “Property can be replaced, people can’t” seems to be the rationale. Do you know what else can’t be replaced? Time. The time invested to build businesses and believe in dreams. Time spent creating art and memories. Time spent trying to get ahead and create financial stability for family…only to have it destroyed by someone who is angry about something someone else did.
Blocking the freeway is illegal. It is not a peaceful protest if you block traffic. (**I am going to define a peaceful protest as something someone else has the choice to engage in or avoid.) Blocking traffic doesn’t give people a choice and–in my opinion–makes you a bully. It is also against the law. Even if local police “give permission”, that doesn’t make it legal. Or smart.
It’s time we started speaking out about children being hurt. In my former California community, while blocking freeway traffic, someone smashed a car window. There was a 4-year-old in a car seat in that car. Over the 4th of July weekend, an 8-year-old girl was shot in Atlanta. An 8-year-old boy was shot in a mall in Alabama. An 11-year-old was killed in Washington DC. Add Chicago and San Francisco to the cities where kids were killed. All of them were children of color…let’s protest for those beautiful people.

What is it we really want? For weeks and weeks, violence has filled our cities. Police officers were battered and property destroyed, and there has been silence from the parents of the people doing the damage.

But as soon as the federal government decides enough is enough and takes responsibility for protecting federal property, moms hit the street. Ok.

Do I want them to have that choice and that freedom? Absolutely. I completely support the First Amendment Right to do just that.

But is that who you want your children to be?

If the protests were peaceful, would additional law enforcement be necessary?

Are you proud of your kids when they march through cities wishing ill on other people and cussing? What does “F*#$%K YOUR COMFORT” have to do with any righteous changes that may need to take place?

Have we/you, as parents, worked hard to try to provide a good life for yourself and your family? A comfortable life?

My husband and I have. We are not ashamed of that. We do not feel any obligation to martyr ourselves for the popular socialist mantra of the day.

While we have worked (sometimes effectively, sometimes not as much) for a good life, we have also served and given our time and treasure to causes and people we believe in.

Remember those books that filled our shelves when our kids were preschoolers that taught us all about natural and logical consequences? It is a natural and logical consequence that when people seek to damage and destroy federal property, federal law enforcement will step in. “Protecting” your kids from that consequence might not produce the kind of adults you want your kids to be.

It seems to me that “woke” white people are storming through the streets and social media trying to feel righteous and important by shaming those who see things differently. It seems these Portland moms want to shame the federal officers for showing up to do their jobs. Their job is to keep vandalism and destruction from continuing. I think it’s an admirable goal.

If you want me to join your cause, inspire Me. Wouldn’t we want our kids to be inspirational and informed, rather than loud and ignorant? Do we believe the “woke” protestors can define socialism? Name a successful socialist country? Name several signers of the Declaration of Independence? Know what the Magna Carta, Emancipation Proclamation, or Mayflower Compact is?

Really. That is a serious question. Do you believe the vast majority of people wreaking havoc have accurate historic knowledge and can explain the context of decisions made in the past?

How about us, the parents?

Ignorance should not win the day.

It is possible to have compassion for others without feeling shame for myself, my blessings, or even my privilege. (More on privilege another day…) I would go so far as to say, shame never helps anything, but clarity does.

So again I ask, what do we want for our kids’ lives and character? Let’s build on that.

I Am Not Kidding

Robin Growth, Uncategorized July 9, 2016hope, patriotism, protests

What we need to put into our [kids] minds is often sophisticated, consistently reliable language. What is readily available to us is often unsophisticated, consistently unreliable language.”-Andrew Pudewa

Once again it feels like the nation has exploded.

I hear gut wrenching cries. I watch bullets out of nowhere. I listen to the questions agonizing what do we do?

Today, Kelly over at Mrs. Disciple is discussing books for her Friday Five. Providentially it weaves beautifully into the scenes unfolding around the country and provides an eloquent answer. The way forward is to read.

I am not kidding.

Language is the motor of thinking, which propels behavior, which dictates results. If we want to change the results it is incumbent upon us to change thinking. Arguing and demagoguery rarely (if ever) help. But reading? Reading has the power to change everything.

Here are my five suggested starting points:

THE BOOK OF PROVERBS.

You don’t have to be a Bible believing Christian to have your life enriched by Proverbs. There are many Chinese proverbs and Old English proverbs I glean wisdom from. Likewise, the book in the Bible has benefits for anyone who will listen:

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it springs the well of life.” Proverbs 4:23
“The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; And with your acquiring, get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7

What an easy place to start. Pray for wisdom for every single person, side, perspective, hashtag. If you follow that to the book of James, verse 3:17, hope comes alive: “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.”

Isn’t that something everyone could agree on?

A THOMAS JEFFERSON EDUCATION by OLIVER De MILLE.

Only when teachers realize that the principal cause of learning that occurs in a student is the activity of the student’s own mind do they assume the role of cooperative artists. ” Mortimer J. Adler

I am not a fan of the pubic school system. It is not that I don’t love teachers, I do. I believe the system is based on a flawed philosophy. Because the fundamental beliefs dictate direction, to me it is irrelevant how much money is spent in public schools because the money continues to move things in the wrong direction. I believe public schools are built on a myth:

“The myth is that it is possible for one human being to educate another…The fact is that the only person who can fix education is the student…[because] education occurs when students get excited about learning and apply themselves.” page 12.

Although this is not an emotional book, I cried as I read it. It reframed much of my entire life…why, even though I was above average intelligence, I hated school and nearly flunked out. Why, even though I love God’s word, I struggled for years to get along and engage in Bible Studies. It boiled down to this:

People were trying to teach me what to think, and I was desperate to learn how to think.

According to DeMille, a primary goal of teaching students how to think is “to perpetuate freedom, to prepare people who know what freedom is, what is required to maintain it, and who exert the will to do what is required,” page 23.

I want to be that kind of a person. I want it for my kids and as many people in this country who also want it. To bring that in context of this week, there is no freedom if the people enforcing the laws are not trustworthy. Likewise, respecting the rule of law is also demanded for freedom to reign. You cannot have one without the other.

THE READ ALOUD HANDBOOK by JIM TRELEASE.

Next to having a healthy, godly marriage, the very best thing we can do for our kids is read to them.

Study after study shows one consistent fact: “No reading outside school, low scores inside school,” page 5.

I believe this emphatically. The way to get kids learning and growing is to gather them around adults with books and to read to them.

I began with my kids as newborns. When my middle was 4 months old our pediatrician was part of a program to encourage literacy in families. He would give away books at well-baby visits. When we were finished with our check up, he grabbed a book and began his spiel about exposure to books.

Reagan lunged forward, grabbed the book out of his hand, opened it and started babbling as she “read” it. He laughed out loud and said, “I guess she knows what a book is.”

I believe teaching and encouraging parents to read good, quality books to their kids would, over time, help to fix many of the struggles in this nation. Some of the benefits to children include:

Increasing vocabulary
Encouraging growing attention spans
Giving a context for history and beauty

Reading Les Miserables, all 1300 pages of it, certainly would have a more positive effect than listening to rap music that says, “F#@!**^ the police” over and over and over again.

THE CLASSICS

These are my current obsession:

Barnes & Noble has a beautiful, incredibly affordable collection of kids versions of classic books. I read them to my little peanut.

I cry EVERY TIME Gilbert Blythe gives up his teaching job for Anne Shirley, or when Jo comes home and has sold her hair to send money for her father. As Ryan grows, I want to start reading some of the abridged versions to her, finally reading the full length stories.

The classics pour into our hearts themes of family and loyalty. The villains show us how not to be while the heroes model endurance and faith. Studying character traits in third party examples helps to form our own character. We need to be pouring into the character of our nation…beginning with the leaders.

THE DOCUMENTS AND LETTERS OF OUR FOUNDING FATHERS.

Recently our teenager was doing a history report and needed original sources for the bibliography. She was getting frustrated because online sources were frowned upon and difficult to site. I started laughing and walked her over to a bookshelf.

“What do you need, kiddo? Here you are.”

Common Sense by Thomas Paine? We’ve got you covered. Looking for the Declaration of Independence? We have several to choose from.

Members of the House of Representatives and Senate should have to read, out loud, the Declaration of Independence and Constitution once a month for 5 years straight… just to give a little perspective.

Rights are for all people, not some people. Let’s infuse our minds with the truths that set us free from tyranny so many years ago. It may be the only way to prevent tyranny in the years to come.

Yes, I know it may seem simplistic but no, I am not kidding when I say that reading may be the very best chance this nation’s future has.