Burn Day

Robin Grace, Growth, Moments, Uncategorized February 2, 2015burn day, getting organized, no laziness, serving family

There may be no more satisfying yard work than a burn day.

Our yard needs it tremendously.

There are times when my entire life feels overgrown, in the worst way.

Happily, this is not one of those seasons. Things are steady, and my hubby and I are both energized and wanting to shift momentum radically in a forward direction.

A burn day is spiritually metaphorical because it illustrates how much room you make by getting rid of that which is already dead.

As a bonus, it is a testosterone driven activity…in the best way.

Working together was a great feeling and made for a productive day.

I am gearing up for a new Brighten A Corner project. I am giddy about it. I am so ready for the body of Christ to be the real solution to heartache and struggle. I can almost see God’s hand every where I turn.

But the past serves as a reminder that if my own home and my own life are a mess when a project begins, the process of serving for a week straight (nearly 18 hours a day) can be unnerving. I am determined not to do that this time.

Burn day was a step in that direction.

The other beautiful reminder is as we trim the trees and the plants, getting rid of all that is unhealthy, it will make future rain far more effective.

We are in a drought. The leaner and healthier the foliage, the less water it will use.

When things are in short supply, lean is the most effective way to go about life.

So this next 4 weeks, gearing up to serve, I will be getting rid of as many things as possible. I will be radically putting things away to make room for the madness to come. I will be focusing on my kids by throwing a birthday party for Ryan; supporting Reagan as she goes to Bible Study, youth group and church outings; digging in to homeschool; and maintaining routine. I will be doing my best to support my hubby in our businesses–being self employed means a lack of steady income–so if we can get a financial boost in time it will make things far less stressful for him.

I will beg God to help me overcome my laziness.

And I will grateful because, as it turns out, a burn day was a great way to get started.

Life…like holidays…

Robin Moments, Uncategorized December 28, 2014Christmas, imperfection, season

So many blogs stop.

So many of us claim to want to write, then don’t.

Life is terribly funny that way, isn’t it? What we claim to want to do and what we do are at times/often not the same. Perhaps it is just me.

This holiday season was, in so many ways, wonderful.

My hubby and I carved time away together. We attended parties with old, dear friends. We had dinner with wonderful, new friends.

As a family (or parts of family) we went to the Nutcracker; laughed heartily at the Melodrama; gave to a family in need; enjoyed carols and church; read parts of a beautiful Advent book.

We were incredibly organized for us. No staying up Christmas Eve to wrap presents, Christmas cards got mailed on time, and money was deposited into our oldest’s account as a gift and to buy his Christmas dinner. All of those were wonderful improvements over years’ past where good intentions and reality were a tad bit out of sync.

The Christmas dinner was fantastic–I do love to cook turkey–but that wasn’t enough to salvage my mood.

I shot way too many dirty looks in my hubby’s direction. When my reality and my expectations didn’t meet up, I let my petty trump my grace.

Again.

Due to extended family drama, I already had a counseling appointment set up for the day after Christmas. I paid someone to talk to me for nearly two hours.

It was absolutely money well spent.

The less than perfect of the Christmas Day does not black out the good that preceded it. So hard for me to remember sometimes. I think it is why the stories of the beginning of Jesus’ life and the end take place over time. Mary traveled. Jesus was born. The shepherds and the wise men came.

Jesus was betrayed. He was beaten. He was put on trial. He was crucified. He was buried. He rose again. He stayed for a while. He rose into the clouds.

To get the whole meaning–to let it sink into my soul in a life changing way–I must accept the time of it. My Christmas season was blessed. I served the needy with friends, I worshipped with my family, I laughed. Even though my Christmas Day was testier than I wanted, it is a mistake to focus on just that.

And so I remember that although I don’t write as often as I wish I did, I will continue on. Brighten A Corner requires I get better as a writer. The messages on my heart prod me as well. And I will remember that although the day of Christmas had great moments and weak moments, the season was Jesus-focused and filled with laughing with friends and family alike.

Because life, like holidays, are seasonal in nature…

What is Normal?

Robin Homeschool, Moments, Special Needs Families, Uncategorized November 16, 2014

I admit that there are moments when doubt and fear creep into my head and heart about my daughter’s future.

Will she be normal?

Ryan is the only one in the world with her particular chromosomal abnormality. Apparently, I have bad genes. Great.

She is almost ten and can’t talk. Years and years of speech therapy, but still no ability to form a sentence. She can utter few words. She can use a few signs.

As a family we function very well. We guess and decipher and encourage and learn and endure some melt downs as her world and her thoughts expand. But every once in a while I am able to step outside myself and feel how abnormal my normal is.

Sure, she went to four years of kindergarten. Not normal, but absolutely the right thing for her.

No, she is not in Special Education. She obviously qualifies, but my hubby and I don’t believe the system would invest in her; it would merely endure her.

All this is not normal. We are not a part of the typical crowd, we are not a part of the special ed crowd. We don’t fit in.

But, save a few moments filled with ridiculous and useless panic, we enjoy the journey…

Years ago my family began a tradition of going to Disneyland for Halloween.

In my opinion, the Christian Community–of which I am a proud and vocal member–is nutty about Halloween. The whole gather on the 31st of October, in costume, to collect candy, and call it any other name you want and declare you don’t celebrate Halloween is just not for me. And, truthfully, the small town I grew up in had many streets with no lights and obnoxious teenagers that would drive around and smash pumpkins all evening, so my initial thoughts about traditional Halloween are not fabulous. I wanted/needed/searched for a better third option, and Disney was it.

This year, unbeknownst to me, my hubby planned an entire trip to Disneyworld.

Two weeks.

Five different resorts.

Unbelievable.

We packed up and moved our tradition to Florida.

As is the normal routine, one of our first stops the evening we arrive is Downtown Disney to choose a costume. My teen was willing to dress up, but there really was not a great costume for her. (Note to self, a bit of planning and preparation would have been helpful.) Most of the searching was done by my peanut.

I lobbied heavily for this:

But as precious as she was in that costume, and as much as she loved it, when we got into the dressing room she looked at me pleadingly, made her hand into a fist and tapped the wood bench with, “Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock…” which is her way of asking for FROZEN. (Cue the sound track: “Elsa? Do you want to build a snowman?”)

So my daughter, with unlimited options before her, wanted to be a princess from FROZEN for Halloween this year.

It doesn’t get any more “normal” than that.

This Is Your Moment

Robin Homeschool, Moments, Uncategorized September 22, 2014beauty, education, everyday, homeschool, parenting, paying attention

Educating my kids is the hardest part of parenting for me.

The truth is that I ended up hating school, as did my son. And my heart breaks wanting things to be different for my girls.

Three and a half years ago, as my middle was finishing up fifth grade, my hubby and I set out to look at different education options with only one question in mind: Where will she get the most excellent education?

The choice, within that framework, was very easy. That fall our family became part of the San Luis Classical Academy family. It is a hybrid education, where she was in classes with wonderful teachers two days a week, and home schooled the other three. They guided the home days, and we got to add our own stamp to what we learned.

It was the best educational decision we have ever made.

Now she has started high school. And the school is having its very first CIF teams. Ever. It is our first volleyball season as parents, hers as a player and the schools as a team. We love it.

At the game the other day, the senior member of the team started encouraging the girls by saying, “This is your moment.” We were loving it in the stands…every time momentum was going in the wrong direction, she would call it out.

She was right. These really ARE the moments. Life, an abundant life, certainly has grand gestures and big events, but it is the simple of the everyday that really makes things beautiful.

Right before my eyes, she is changing. It feels like she grows an inch a week, and if I could I would sweep her back to chubby cheeks and endless days right by my side. But I can’t, so I will do what I can to pay attention today…because there is so much to be awed by.

She loves school because she loves to learn. We are watching and rooting her on, as we wipe away the tears when she’s not looking. Seeing my kids grow up breaks my heart with beauty.

We are transfixed. We are grateful. She has read Chaucer and Shakespeare; The Illiad and Beowolf. She has been wrapped in science and loves geometry. She joined the Writers Club. After volleyball she heads downtown to get dinner and then attends youth group at church with her friends.

My heart is overflowing with gratitude that God has blessed this process so abundantly, and I will breathe it in deeply because this moment will be gone all to soon.

From the Inside Out

Robin Uncategorized June 19, 2014

I am still just figuring it out.

That phrase has been repeated over and over, by me, this last year.

Life doesn’t always go the way I want it to.

Things got messy. Literally. Figuratively.

God is doing enormous work on my character, and His work has brought me to a season of hope. I am dwelling on Romans 5:3-4, “Because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance character; and character hope.”

Not that long ago for me a precious place of ministry had fallen apart, my father in law was in and out of the hospital, chaos was mounting and my mood with my family strained beyond compassionate responses. I was weary, but through God’s grace I never doubted His love.

During that season, perhaps for the first time in my life, my mind was not filled with thoughts of , “What is happening?” Rather, I was focused on, “What does God want me to do?” I, without any thoughts of Romans 5:3-4 specifically, was working on my character.

Character precedes the hope.

I read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. I read everything available from Shauna Neiquist. I started a Bible Study with friends. I reached out to new friends and studied the Bible with them too. I stopped barking at my hubby.

On an oversized chalkboard on the great room wall I wrote:

SIMPLIFYING

Get rid of everything you don’t want
Fix or get rid of everything that is broken
Find a clean place for everything
Choose healthy more often

My hubby joined in.

We are still, very much, in that process but that process is leading to progress and progress feels good.

I want to live my life from the inside out. I am desperate to be who God wants me to be, not to perform like the world would choose. And I want to enjoy the process more; to find beauty in the broken; to be more steady, less volatile. I want to let God change me, and to be bravely, acutely aware of the changes in me no matter how nuanced they may be.