Five Senses

Aaaahhhhh…that Kelly over at Mrs Disciple. She is younger than I am, but I still want to be more like her when I grow up. She is consistent and dedicated, and her Friday 5 Link Up seems to be the only thing I can manage these days.

Five Senses is today’s call. I am certain she means seeing, tasting, hearing etc., but I am a brat and I am struggling, so I am going in another direction.

SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT. When I allow the poison of entitlement to seep into my thoughts, discontentment overflows.

It is not pretty.

The sense of victimhood bosses my emotions and reactions around like a military officer at boot camp.

There is shouting. There is anger. There is a loss of control.

Dr. Phil says that feeling like a victim is the root of rage. I have lived that. I hate that part of me.

This last week I have battled feeling entitled to help for my daughter, money in my bank account, recognition for my ideas, and being right.

Sigh. Haven’t I come farther than this?

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me.” Psalm 51:10

Now that I acknowledge my sense of entitlement, I can give it (again) to the Lord.

SENSE OF RIGHT AND WRONG. What a week for this.

Most can agree on what is wrong…rounding people up in a music hall and shooting them; blowing yourself up with the specific intention of killing other people; killing for the sole purpose of creating chaos and gaining power. All of that is so, so wrong.

But the perspectives on the right thing to do about it have divided and destroyed many opportunities for reasonable conversation. Christians against Christians, right-wing verses left-wing, so many people have said so many horrible things about one another.

I am disgusted stunned by it.

There is room to feel vulnerable. There should be a feeling of compassion somewhere in our hearts that turns into action. There can be wisdom.

Whether we want to admit it or not, there will be people who hate us no matter what we do…and who are willing to die in order to destroy us. But that is not an entire race or religion.

Facebook is the least productive, but sometimes only available, place to have the discussion.

I believe in a sense of right and wrong, but I want to live it out more often in the framework of Acts 2:42: They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.”

Lord, please help me.

SENSE OF WONDER. Sometimes I wonder why things go the way they do. My questions, when turned inward, can breed anger and dissatisfaction. Turned toward the Lord and His word, it can bring a sense of wonder.

“I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart; I will tell of  Your wonders.” Psalm 9:1

Of course right now I don’t actually want to…back to the aforementioned brattiness and struggle. But now that I am facing my feelings and incorrect thoughts, there is much more hope that my want-to will line up with my beliefs.

SENSE OF AWE. There have been sunsets this week that have taken my breath away. There have been the most spectacular shooting stars dancing in the night sky. There is my hubby, who is still with me 20 years of marriage later.

None of those things actually make sense to me.

How can one sleeping sun create that many colors in the sky? How, with the stars too many to count, was I looking at the one that decided to ignite itself across the horizon? Why do we still love each other when the pressures of life descend relentlessly?

I really don’t get it, but I really do love it.

SENSE OF GRATITUDE. It all builds to this when I let it.

Gratitude is a choice.

Gratitude is a decision.

Gratitude is a discipline.

And gratitude is the most effective hope I have for pulling out of this funk.

“Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.” Hebrews 7:25.

Even when I am struggling, He lives to make intercession for me. Even when I am bratty, He lives to make intercession for me. Even when I am ungrateful, He lives to make intercession for me. Even when awe eludes me, He lives to make intercession for me. Even when I am questioning, He lives to make intercession for me. Even when things go wrong, He lives to make intercession for me. Even when I am entitled, He lives to make intercession for me.

It is the only thing that helps my life make sense.