There has been wailing and gnashing of teeth here on Park Hill Road.
Mostly from me.
It was slowly becoming more and more apparent that I should homeschool my precious little peanut full time this year. A thousand little pieces of information added up to a clear picture: In order to make progress we’d have to make a change.
Homeschooling is time consuming and patience strengthening, but that is not where the wailing and gnashing originated.
I am just so sad that I am the best option for my daughter.
This is not some whoah is me, the sacrifices I must make thing. It is truth.
Last summer my little person and I hopped on a plane and flew to Connecticut to meet with a speech therapist and an aqua therapist. They worked with her and taught me and she bloomed.
When I pulled out of the parking space on the last day, I was a mess. In that school lot, the smell of chlorine thick in the rental car, a new realization was forged in my heart: We only grieve things we are grateful for.
I was so, so grateful for the time we had been given. And I was so, so heartbroken that we had to fly to other side of the country and leave them behind.
People who are excellent at what they do are unique. To see people who are gifted at helping my daughter was vulnerably beautiful. To come home where I have been unable to such find help was hard. And sad.
I had to grieve the loss.
I would MUCH rather have gifted, great therapists to work with my daughter than have to do it all myself as an amateur.
But we have rounded another corner and here we are: A homeschooling family.
I have it all thought out:
I have prayed and researched and I believe God has guided me to the right focus and approaches for Ryan…If I do all I have set out to she will thrive.
If I do all I set out to do, our family will thrive.
My goals for the first trimester are fairly simple:
For my Precious Little Peanut, that means stronger jaw, tongue and lips for speech; and core and hands for writing. For the rest of the family, it would just be good.
Here we are prayerfully, humbly on a new adventure; hauntingly optimistic that we will make progress. This I know: The biggest weak spot is me.
I am flakey.
I can be lazy.
I naturally gravitate toward chaos which means I have to fight me very nature in order to succeed at this.
I believe HE is for me. I have prayed through my natural laziness and made great strides. I have people praying for my character, so that I may be the educator my daughter needs.
So here and now, for this season, I am coming out of my corner swinging.